The Struggle with Thoughts and Emotions

Ever feel like you’re caught in a mental tug-of-war with your thoughts and emotions? It’s an incredibly common experience. We’re human and it’s easy to get trapped in worries about the future or regrets from the past.

But what if there was a way to break free from this cycle and find more peace in the present moment?

The struggle with thought and emotions is what Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) focuses on—a pathway to psychological flexibility that can help you embrace your inner experiences and lead a more fulfilling life, even when it’s tough.

Let’s explore the core skills of ACT and see how they can transform your relationship with your thoughts and feelings.

Acceptance: Learn to Embrace Your Inner Experience

One of the foundational skills in ACT is acceptance. This isn’t about passively enduring whatever comes our way but rather about actively engaging with our experiences without judgment. When we resist our thoughts and emotions, they often become more persistent. It’s like trying to hold a beach ball underwater—the more you push, the stronger it fights to resurface.

If you’re struggling with insomnia, the harder you try and ruminate on your sleep, the more frustrated or alert you might become.

By accepting our inner experiences, we can free up the energy we’ve been using to resist and instead channel it into more productive avenues.

It’s important to recognize that our thoughts are not always accurate reflections of reality. Often, they are distorted interpretations colored by our fears and insecurities.

For instance, if you’re nervous about an upcoming presentation, your mind might flood you with thoughts of failure or embarrassment. These thoughts can feel very real, but they are not necessarily true. By stepping back and accepting these thoughts as just thoughts—not facts—we can reduce their power over us.

Try This: The next time you catch yourself trying to push away an unpleasant emotion, stop and let it be. Notice how it feels in your body. What happens when you don’t resist your experience? This simple exercise can help you start to break the cycle of resistance and begin to accept your experiences as they are.

Are thoughts and strong emotions keeping you awake at night? Check out my popular article on the The ACE Method for Managing Anxiety and Insomnia.

Adopt a Present-Focused Perspective: Learn to Live in the Now

We spend a lot of time either ruminating on the past or worrying about the future. However, life unfolds in the present moment. By focusing on the here and now, we can experience life more fully and reduce the stress that comes from being mentally elsewhere.

Think of your thoughts as scenes projected onto a movie screen. You can sit back and watch them unfold without getting lost in the story. This detachment allows you to observe your thoughts without becoming entangled in them.

Consider This: When you find yourself lost in thought, use your senses to bring yourself back to the present. Notice two things you can see, hear, and smell around you. This sensory awareness helps anchor you in the present moment and can be a powerful tool for reducing anxiety and stress.

Observing Self: Connect with the Observing Self

In ACT, we differentiate between the “thinking self” and the “observing self.” The thinking self is constantly analyzing, planning, interpreting, and judging our experiences. It’s the part of us that gets caught up in the content of our thoughts.

The observing self, on the other hand, is the part of us that notices these thoughts and feelings without getting involved in them. It’s like the sky watching the weather—aware of the clouds and storms passing through but not defined by them.

Practicing this skill helps us to realize that we are not our thoughts. We are the observers of our thoughts. This realization can create a profound shift in how we relate to our internal experiences.

Try This: When you find yourself lost in thought, engage your senses to connect with the present moment. Notice two things you can see, hear, and smell in your immediate environment. This practice helps you step back into the role of the observer, reducing the impact of your thoughts on your mood and behavior.

Values Clarification: Define Your Highest Values

Knowing your core values is essential for living a meaningful life. Values act like a compass, guiding you in the right direction. Take time to explore and define what matters most to you. This process involves reflecting on your deepest beliefs and principles and how you want to embody them in your life.

Try This: Think about your role models or people you admire. What qualities do they have? Which of these traits do you want to develop in yourself? Reflect on your answers and write them down. This exercise helps clarify your values and provides a clear direction for your actions.

Be Values-Led: Put Your Values into Action

It’s not enough to simply know your values; you must also act on them. This means setting specific goals that align with your values and taking concrete steps to achieve them.

Your values are like a compass—they point you in the right direction, but you have to make the journey. By regularly reflecting on and adjusting your goals, you can stay aligned with what matters most to you.

Give This a Go: Name your three most important values. Set a concrete goal for each one. For example, if one of your values is friendship, make it a point to see or call a friend every week. This practice ensures that your daily actions are in harmony with your deepest beliefs.

Commit to Practicing

Psychological flexibility is not a one-time achievement but an ongoing practice. Regularly reflecting on your values and adjusting your goals as needed helps keep you aligned with what’s most important to you. This continuous process of reflection and action fosters a deeper connection with your values and enhances your overall well-being.

Conclusion

Becoming psychologically flexible through ACT is a transformative journey. By embracing your inner experiences, living in the present, connecting with your observing self, and acting on your values, you can cultivate a more peaceful and fulfilling life.

Remember, this is an ongoing process that requires commitment and practice. But with each step, you move closer to a life that reflects your true self and values.

If you been working on untangling insomnia and working though other anxieties in life, please be patient with yourself. Change takes time, and it’s okay to stumble along the way. The key is to keep moving forward, learning, and growing.

With practice, you’ll find that you can navigate life’s challenges with greater ease and resilience, staying true to your values and connected to the present moment.

Trouble sleeping? Contact me today to schedule your free virtual consultation and begin your journey to good nights and better days.

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